Heartbroken

Horrible dreams.  Horrible visions.  Horrible thoughts.  Can't sleep.  Need to write or have some form of expression about what happened today.  Possibly the worst day of my entire life.

Today I lost my hero, my dad, in a motorcycle accident at the point of the mountain.  So many thoughts racing through my head.  The what could have beens, the memories of what had been, the horrific scenes of the day, crying so much your whole face and head hurt.  Considering ice packs for the eyes and face.  The outpouring of love to my family and Mom.  Thoughts of hard decisions that lie ahead in the next few days and months to come.  Sounds and smells of Dad.  Everywhere I turn, evidence of him.   Wishing you were somehow here again.  Wishing you were somehow near.


You were once my one companion
You were all that mattered
You were once a friend and father
Then my world was shattered
Wishing you were somehow here again
Wishing you were somehow near
Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed
Somehow you would be here

Wishing I could hear your voice again
Knowing that I never would
Dreaming of you won't help me to do
All that you dreamed I could
Passing bells and sculpted angels
Cold and monumental seem, for you the wrong companions
You were warm and gentle

Too many years fighting back tears
Why can't the past just die?
Wishing you were somehow here again
Knowing we must say, "Goodbye"
Try to forgive, teach me to live
Give me the strength to try
No more memories, no more silent tears
No more gazing across the wasted years
Help me say, "Goodbye"
Help me say, "Goodbye"

Heartbroken.

My day started like any other.  Wake up as husband got ready and went to work.  Go back to bed until children wake up.  Buddy woke up a little after eight.  He brought marshmallows to my bed to have for breakfast.  Snacked on a few.  Decided to get up and do a real breakfast.  Going to the bathroom, cell phone rings, "Mommy, mommy your phone." "I know Buddy.  I will get it in a minute."  Mom called, kind of early, but not unusual.  Call Mom back.  Scary news.  Dad's been in a motorcycle accident.  Has been taken to IMC.  Will you meet me there?  I have taken care of Grandma.  I don't have a cell phone.  Traffic on I-15 is bad.  Will you meet me at the ER?  Call your sisters.  

Hang up phone.  Press and hold 2.  Yell at husband to come home immediately.  Get Buddy dressed and breakfast.  Try to reach sisters.  No answer.  Text 911.  No response.  Shower.  Try to reach sisters again. No answer.  Call R.  No answer.  J calls back finally.  Relay news.  She is triple booked for the day.  Heading to Moab tomorrow.  Trying to decide if it is worth it to drive to the hospital and cancel appointments.  We talk and decided for her to keep her day as normal.  Hoping that when I arrived and could give more information, she could then decide if it was worth coming down to the hospital.  (In the back of my mind I was hoping it would be like my dad's roll-over accident ten years earlier, although serious, not life threatening.) 

Husband calls to ask what to do with the boys.  His mom is willing to take the kids.  Will meet us at the hospital.  He is almost home.  C calls.  Relay information to her.  She was already at work.  Dropping everything and is rushing to the hospital.  Accident is being reported on the news.  Fatality reported.  

Husband arrives.  Wake Smiler from dead of sleep.  Finish getting ready.  Leave House.  Race to the hospital.  Blow through metering lights on 72nd South on-ramp.  Drive 95 MPH.  Mother-in-law calls.  Is at the hospital with my mom.  They have taken them to a room (my heart sank.  What would be the purpose of a private room vs. waiting in triage?  News so bad that they don't tell it to you in front of everyone.)  C calls again.  Confirmation of correct hospital.  We arrive.  Head inside.  Escorted to private waiting room.  The room is extremely hot.  Give kids snacks.  Wait for C to arrive.  Call Uncle E to tell him what is going on and to get Grandpa O's cell number.  Grandpa not picking up at home.  Hear horrible response from Uncle E to the news.  Retrieve's number.  Call Grandpa O.  Waiting for doctor to come in.

Woman doctor enters very hot room.  Talked about when my dad had arrived at the hospital with the paramedics.  She was the emergency room doctor assigned to my dad.  What life-saving procedures were performed.  Then the horrible news that starts with, "I am sorry."  That is all I heard.  I completely broke down.  Everyone in the room was crying.  Buddy and Smiler looking at me in concern.  "What's wrong mommy?"  Buddy gives me a hug.  

Call J.  Horrible crying on both ends of the phone.  She is on her way.  Will take Redwood as I-15 is bad from the accident my dad was in.  Second phone call, Uncle E.  Again another horrible noise of sorrow coming from the other end of the line.  Can't erase the sound from my thoughts/memory.  Call Grandpa.  

Woman doctor and social services worker escort us back to see Dad.  Buddy and Smiler remain with Grandma H.  Approaching trauma room 4.  Horrible sight!  I can't seem to enter the room.  Dad lying on the gurney, intubated, not moving.  Fresh wave of despair.  

Find Dad's hand.  (Even to this day, I always held my dad's hand.  It always reminded me of when I was little.  I always loved holding my dad's hand.)  Bruises from where his watch had been.  Can't remove wedding band.  Fingers too swollen.  Box of tissues.  Lots of kisses and hugs.  Dad still warm, soft, like he was sleeping (without the snoring.)  He looks really good.  Hardly any bruises.  He had been wearing all his protective gear.  The ER doctor said he most likely died from chest contusions.  His head was perfect.

More phone calls going out and coming in.  Still waiting for J to arrive.  Fox 13 news at 11:00 am releases my dad's information/name to the public.  More phone calls coming in from relatives and friends.  More crying.  UHP come in; give us preliminary report of the accident.  Need to take blood draw as standard procedure to make sure Dad wasn't under the influence of anything that would have impaired his driving.  J arrives.  More tears and fresh wave of sorrow.  

Spend a little more time with Dad.  Say some temporary goodbyes.  Go to Mom and Dad's house.  Dad is taken to the morgue, awaiting donor extraction procedures.  

Assigned inspector for the UHP to my dad's accident arrives at the house bringing the initial police reports from the others involved in the accident.  He was very sweet and empathetic.  Gave us his initial findings as to what happened.  Was very kind.  Went and retrieved my dad's pants from off the freeway.  He told us the following (a little is ad-libbed in from what we already knew, what doctors had reported to us and other police officers, and comment posts on KSL.)

My dad left for work a little before 7:30 AM this morning.  He was going to 90th South.  He got on I-15 heading north from the Highland/Alpine on-ramp.  The first two lanes were going freeway speeds.   My dad accelerated on the on-ramp to merge in going freeway speeds.  He was working his way over to the HOV lane.  The right two lanes were going slower.  The officer guessed that my dad turned his head to check his blind spot before moving into the HOV lane and when he had turned it back, the fast lane was coming to a screeching halt.  My dad didn't have enough time to react or stop and rear-ended and SUV (GMC Yukon).  This sent my dad sailing off the bike.  He hit the freeway (I think this was the impact the doctor was telling us about that caused his chest contusions.)  Cars braked and swerved to avoid running over my dad.  One 70 year old lady that was in direct path set to hit him, pulled some impressive NASCAR maneuvers (to quote the UHP) to avoid hitting him and went off the side of the freeway, down a steep embankment and crashed.  She ended up having some neck injuries.  She also happened to be a lady from my parents Stake.  

People pulled over to offer assistance to my dad until paramedics could arrive.

Tobias D Pimentel

posted 18 hours ago

I was one of the first one's to see the motorcycle accident this morning on the point of the mountain. I was able to quickly stop my car and provide assistance. With me there was a Women and a Man trying to keep the injured man breathing and alive. What a humbling experience, the Man and the Women that were with me, I don't know their manes but they did a wonderful job trying to help. I stayed at the scene until the paramedics arrived, at that point the injured man had already stopped breathing. My thoughts and prayers are with the family that are experiencing this loss. I fell terrible for not being able to do anything more to save this man's life.

The injured man was wearing all his safety gears, Helmet- Jacket and Gloves.

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RJ P.
posted 17 hours ago

Bless you for doing what you could to help, and those others who offered the same.

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jeffoldham60
posted 17 hours ago

Thank you for sharing. The person you were trying to save is my brother. I feel grateful that someone like you, and those with you, were able to be there for him and with him in the end. It is a sobering moment when you get a call letting you know that the big brother you looked up to for so many years is now gone. I feel a terrible sense of lose. I am all the more sadened because I am so far away, i live on the east coast, and I can not be there for my sister-in-law nor my three nieces.

Thank you once again for your kindness and caring at such a time.

jeffoldham60
posted 9 hours ago

imabanta, thank you for your kind words, thoughts, and prayers. It is tough to lose a brother, but it is a bit harder because we lost our Mom just last year at this same time. No one wants to lose anyone, but especially no one wants to lose a loved one in this manner. I am grateful for all those who, even unknown to us, have given us strength and courage during this difficult experience.
Thank you all again for your thoughts and prayers.

As was stated in the first comment (the third and fourth posts are from my Uncle J), my dad had stopped breathing before paramedics arrived.  I think my Dad died right then.  I hope it was quick and not too painful.  I have horrible images and thoughts racing through my mind about how scared my dad might have been, (my dad was hardly scarred of anything), what he was thinking as he hit the SUV and went flying into the air.  If it hurt real bad when he hit the freeway.  I pray that my Heavenly Father took him quickly home and that he did not suffer long. My heart aches to hope that my dad did not suffer.  

The paramedics tried to revive my dad and rushed him to IMC were they tried to do all they could to save/revive him.  I appreciate all those hard working people who go through so much training and time to care for loved ones in their darkest hours.  Thank you for doing all you could to try and help my dad.   

I just have one last thought to add to a post that has become incredibly long, and is still missing so many details.  Sometimes music expresses exactly what you are thinking and feeling.

Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
Then I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the TV off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do, with one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

Leave me wishing still, for one more day
Leave me wishing still, for one more day 

I love you all, family and friends.  Thank you for all your love, support and prayers at this time.  Please just try to remember my mom as time goes on and things settle down.  She will be dealing with this long after the funeral is over and all I ask is that you don't forget her.  

Here is copy of the link and the story reported at KSL.  This is more for me than anyone else, so I will always have a copy of it.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=960&sid=20248709&title=accidents-kill-2-in-utah-county-during-morning-commute&s_cid=queue-7

Accidents kill 2 in Utah County during morning commute

PAYSON — Two Utah County residents were killed in separate accidents on I-15 Thursday near Payson and Lehi.

One driver was killed in a crash just before 7:30 a.m. on I-15 near Payson. Tamra Loveless, 34, overcorrected after drifting onto the shoulder and struck the median, rolling several times into southbound lanes, the Utah Highway Patrol reported.

The Payson woman was ejected from her vehicle and run over by a semitrailer. She was not wearing a seat belt.

Just before 8 a.m., Kerry Oldham, 57, of Lehi, was killed in a separate accident near Point of the Mountain, according to the UHP. Oldham was traveling on a motorcyle and was merging into traffic from an onramp when he struck the rear of a GMC Yukon.

Harriet Wooley, 69, swerved to avoid hitting Oldham, leaving the road on the right side and traveling down an embankment. Wooley received a neck injury and was transported to an area hospital. 

Fox 13 News

http://fox13now.com/2012/05/03/fatal-crash-shuts-down-southbound-i-15-near-payson/

Fatal crashes on I-15 slow morning commute

UTAH COUNTY – Two people are dead in separate crashes on Interstate 15 Thursday morning.

Officials with the Utah Highway Patrol say 34-year-old Tamra Loveless was driving northbound on I-15 near Payson at around 7 a.m. when she rolled onto the median and crossed into southbound traffic.

Loveless, who was not wearing a seat belt, was ejected from her vehicle then hit by a what witnesses say is a semi pulling a gravel trailer. That semi continued driving and now investigators are trying to track it down.

“It’s possible that that driver did witness the crash but maybe didn’t see the body in the road. We just don’t know until we talk to that driver,” said Cpl. Todd Johnson, Utah Highway Patrol.

Investigators aren’t sure what caused Loveless to lose control of the car, but are looking at her cell phone records to see if she was on the phone at the time of the crash.Southbound lanes were closed for several hours, but reopened at about 10:15 a.m.

A second crash took place on I-15 northbound at the Point of the Mountain near Lehi just before 8 a.m.

Troopers said a motorcyclist was trying to move into the HOV lane, but traffic was congested and he slammed into the back of an SUV.

The motorcyclist, 57-year-old Kerry Oldham, was ejected and flew into the path of another car. He died at the scene, according to the Salt Lake County Sheriff’s Office.